There is a reason that confidence and poise are towards the top of the pyramid, right below COMPETITIVE GREATNESS.
POISE and CONFIDENCE are how you act and feel about yourself. These two things, how you act and how you feel about yourself, will largely determine your success level in every aspect of life.
So, what is confidence? Well, confidence is a simply a belief that you will succeed.
When you step into the batters box without fear, and truly, and deep down believe that you are going to hit the ball hard – that is confidence. When you throw a 3-2 fastball with the bases loaded and 100% believe, without any fear, that you will get an out – that is confidence.
But, how do you get confident? Where does it come from?
Well, there are no tricks or easy ways to develop confidence. People are not “born confident” – it is not a genetic trait. You don’t just “get confident” like you “get the flu”.
Confidence is developed in a straightforward process. Confidence comes from the combination of hard work and success. Here is a the process:
- You set a goal or challenge to make yourself better, to improve
- You have a plan and work hard to meet that challenge
- You start experiencing success, the result of all your hard work
- Now, you start believing you can do it.
- That belief becomes confidence.
That is the essence of confidence. Taking on a challenge or goal. Working hard to meet the challenge. Make progress, sometimes slowly, against your goal. This success breeds confidence. And the more confident you become, the easier it is to succeed. So, it becomes self-fulfilling.
Confidence is the result of combining hard work with success.
Confidence is something you develop, just like skill (hitting an outside pitch or fielding a groundball). It is not something that is given to you. It is easier for some people than others. But, it is something we all need to work at.
You guys have been doing this all your life. It is how you learned to talk. It is how you learned to walk, how to read, how to ride a bike. You are confident in all of those things now, you don’t even think about it.
Without this element of hard work and incremental success one step at a time, you cannot have true confidence.
80+ HOURS OF WORK DURING WINTER. YOU HAVE EVERY REASON TO BE CONFIDENT.
Some people confuse cockiness with confidence. They are very, very different. Cockiness is very shallow, and is not built on a foundation of hard work. People who are cocky are more concerned about how other people perceive them. It is all show, no substance. Cockiness is about putting on a show, Confidence is about how you feel about yourself.
Confidence is not an easy thing to get. It takes time and it takes effort. And it is not a smooth path. If you start experiencing some failure, that can start hurting your confidence.
This is the biggest challenge in baseball, because there is a lot of failure in baseball.
But, here is an important insight:
Remember, confidence comes from the process of setting goals, and working hard to achieve them and then experiencing the personal satisfaction of success. So, if you start experiencing failure and it is starting to hurt your confidence. And, believe me, you will know this is happening before anyone else. Then, take control of the situation – create for yourself a situation, like some extra batting practice, where you can do some work and experience some success, one step at a time.
That it how you get your confidence back. You don’t just wake up one morning and feel confident.
To summarize, the number one message is this: Confidence is something you develop, it not something you just have. It is not genetic, it comes from hard work and experience success.
Confidence is a process, just like everything else in the pyramid – it is something that YOU make happen.
The second message is also really important. As you mature as a player, you need to take responsibility for developing your own confidence. It is something that parents or coaches cannot do for you. Either you believe in yourself or not. Remember – confidence, hard work and success – come hand in hand.
Take the responsibility for creating your own confidence building process – create your own opportunities to work hard and experience success. All that matters is what you believe. Take control of your own confidence.